Beta plot discussion and feedback [spoilers]

Newly arrived from India, Sara Crewe must make friends at a British boarding school. A light-yuri simulation game based on the classic novel.
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Darksilverhawk
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Re: Beta plot discussion and feedback [spoilers]

#16 Postby Darksilverhawk » Tue May 10, 2016 9:37 pm

Quick bug report- if you skip through the credits, the credit music doesn't stop and plays over the other music until it ends.

Finished all the routes! I enjoyed all of them. I'm not familiar with the source material but there's nothing I really feel got left out.

I think it would be nice if there wasn't a bad end per say, but maybe maxing out one of the negative stats might give a small optional scene related to that stat, perhaps showing Sara dealing with it in particular or maybe being tempted to do something unsavory because of it. It would at least show that the stats are more than just numbers and that there are actual consequences to washing clothes for a week straight. How desperate and miserable would our darling Sara seem if, for just the slightest moment, she was tempted to steal a bun from a bakery window or burn a piece of old furniture in the attic fireplace?

How old is Sara, anyway? I've gotten it in my head that she's thirteen->fourteen, but I can't figure out if that's what you say in the game somewhere or if I just assumed that was her age.

I feel like Lottie does feel a bit immature for a ten-year-old, but she's supposed to be immature, so... I guess it depends on the angle you wanted to approach it from. Making her younger would make her immaturity a little more reasonable, but if the whole point is that she's a spoiled, sheltered child who has been a little slow to mature emotionally I think ten works fine. It's not super weird that's she's still acting childishly at that age, but she still clearly has some catching up to do to her peers. If you want to her simply be acting childishly mostly because she is still very much a child, then bumping her down to eight would probably convey that better.

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hanako
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Re: Beta plot discussion and feedback [spoilers]

#17 Postby hanako » Tue May 10, 2016 10:20 pm

Darksilverhawk wrote:How old is Sara, anyway? I've gotten it in my head that she's thirteen->fourteen, but I can't figure out if that's what you say in the game somewhere or if I just assumed that was her age.


That's roughly what I'm aiming for, though I never explicitly say, I don't think.

'Fourteen' does come up in the conversation with Becky, where she says that the poorhouse guessed her to be around that age and therefore old enough to work.

katlyn71449
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Re: Beta plot discussion and feedback [spoilers]

#18 Postby katlyn71449 » Thu May 12, 2016 4:22 am

I just finished all of the paths! I am not sure which was my favourite. I am rather fond of them all! I would love it if you did another game like this based on Pride and Prejudice! Kind of like the Matches and Matrimony game. :)

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cecilia
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Re: Beta plot discussion and feedback [spoilers]

#19 Postby cecilia » Thu May 12, 2016 3:54 pm

Kids who are quite old can still act extremely immature. I don't think there's any problem with Lottie's age (and it would even work if she was a bit older, if you wanted to go that way, but I don't think it's especially necessary).

I haven't played her route yet though, so perhaps there's more I'm not seeing yet.

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rincewind
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Re: Beta plot discussion and feedback [spoilers]

#20 Postby rincewind » Mon May 16, 2016 3:52 am

I have played Jessie route, and I'm in the middle of Becky's now.

Love the game! Is just wonderful. It made me giddy with the cute moments, sad and tense when the tragedy strike and jumping of joy with the ending. Was an amazing experience and was really easy to be immersed into the story.

Jessie's route CG are just stunning. Really, really beautiful. Kudos to the artist, was a magnificent work.

The rest of the art is great too. And the chibis are ultra cute!

Loved the music too, was really appropriate, and works wonderfully setting the tone.

Guess that after Becky's route, I will go for my original favorite, Ermengarde. Choose Becky's after Jessie, because I locked myself out off Ermergarde route in my first gameplay. (Was in order to avoid be tempted, when I decided to go for Jessie first :P). But all the characters are really likeable! Well... except maybe Lavinia. I felt sad for her in some moments. But most of the time, is so... so... Lavinia. I choose Jessie for the first route mainly because I wanted to "save" Jessie from her.
But, I'm interested in her route to see her side of the story.

By the way, I would love to see epilogues. Seeing the life that Jessie and Sara are living would be wonderful... and I want to suppose that they hired Becky... right? RIGHT? :|

Also, I have some very minor things to say, probably dumb ideas.

- The sign of the House at the beginning looks kinda... not aligned?
- The letters from the father, would be neat if they can be done in a more "lettery" style, instead of a normal dialogue box.
- The little heart shaped portrait of Becky and Sara in the Main Menu... I think that could be nice if the image change randomly everytime we go to the menu, showing the other girls, not only Becky.
- In the left bar, where the stat are, maybe an little icon can be added prior the stat name. "Little Book Icon" - Knowledge. Of course, doubt that anyone will need it... it's just me that keep mixing the stats... I can't help but mix sorrow and fatigue. :S

As I said, those are VERY minor things.

PS: And about Lottie... I think that she being a Victorian child, not a modern one, and being herself a bit immature, it's not far fetched of her being ten.
"It's good to be the president." - The President
"Oh humble dirt, if I could, I would carry you to freedom!" -The Lady and Saviour of all the dirt, mud and pebbles.
"Cake! Me!" -A VERY hungry Scullery Maid

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rincewind
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Re: Beta plot discussion and feedback [spoilers]

#21 Postby rincewind » Tue May 17, 2016 2:34 am

I want to add that I just have finished Becky's route.
Oh, dear, was... just wonderful. Wonderful. I'm here, sitting, sniffling like crazy.

The CG were also fantastic. The second one... oh dear!! Is precious!!

And another thing that I wanted to remark... in the climax of the story... the music was glorious, was just perfect, really perfect!!

Sadly is too late right now, because I can't wait to see the other routes.
"It's good to be the president." - The President
"Oh humble dirt, if I could, I would carry you to freedom!" -The Lady and Saviour of all the dirt, mud and pebbles.
"Cake! Me!" -A VERY hungry Scullery Maid


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