The Royal Trap (in development)

Swords, pistols, and palace intrigue - will you fight to save your prince?
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#16 Post by perch » Thu Mar 29, 2012 9:02 pm

Forgive me if you answered this elsewhere, what kind of detailed commentary? Specifically are we grammar and historical nitpicking, or would it involve story flow, character development, plot hole spotting and things like that?

Anyway, will continue to fangirl Gaston in this corner. *unsnaps fan*

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#17 Post by hanako » Thu Mar 29, 2012 9:25 pm

Any and all of the above. Except historical, because it's not set in anything resembling real history, but verisimilitude, yes. :)

I mentioned in another thread, I'm likely to implement changes and pass things to different eyes at different times for testing, so lack of response doesn't mean rejection... if I use everyone up I won't have anyone left later!

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#18 Post by perch » Fri Mar 30, 2012 1:40 am

I gotcha. I can tell you've been working on this one and finishing up Long Live the Queen, you're getting all fancy with your words. :D

Well if you think you can use me, I'm more than happy to help out. My grammar skills haven never been awesome, though I do love picking apart worlds and looking for plot, character and story construction. Too many years in fandom.

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#19 Post by manfromba » Sat Mar 31, 2012 1:11 pm

Hanako, I post on lemmasoft forums as lemuel, and what I said there still applies:
If ever you need a beta reader for this game after April 25 (ugh, exams), please do not hesitate to contact me.

I have a fairly advanced vocabulary (although not at Lovecraft levels), a good knowledge of when to use and abuse grammar, and greatly enjoy reading and editing stories of political intrigue.

I am also capable of writing critiques and evaluations of characters. Although I am not studying English literature in University, I got good marks when I took it. I am studying history, and while I am ware that this game is not historical, perhaps I could use my knowledge of analogous situations (intrigues, plots, etc.) to help evaluate the story.

When will you need editors?

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#20 Post by junsei7 » Mon Apr 02, 2012 2:32 pm

If you think you could use me, I'd be more than happy to help out. I don't think it spoils the end game - I love seeing how a story develops! :)

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#21 Post by hanako » Mon Apr 02, 2012 3:16 pm

When will you need editors?
Can't really answer that because it varies! When I hit particular points I like to get someone to check over what I've done, especially if I have a specific question in mind that needs answering. The most recent batch I was checking a characterisation change and it seems to have worked out all right for now, I think.

I am currently at work on Gaston's plot branch - when I finish a first draft of it I may be interested in pulling in a Gaston fanclub member to have a look. :) But I don't know when that will be.

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#22 Post by yuuzai » Tue Apr 03, 2012 12:41 am

Oh I would love to help.
I'm an apiring writer/English major if that helps. :D

Ok. Totally not selling my self well here.
Long time reader and writer of fantasy and sci fi. I'm not the best with grammer, but I'm improving steadily. What I'm really great at is those pertinent questions and hanging ideas. I remember details well and I've been learnging to political really well.
I've got a great sense of logic and common sense.
Plus I've really wanted to look into making my own games and if helpping in this small way will give me an idea of what i'll need to do I'm so there.

Also I'm a long time cast member at my local Renaissance faire.
If i can help don't hesitate to let me know

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#23 Post by junsei7 » Tue Apr 10, 2012 2:44 pm

hanako wrote: a Gaston fanclub member
So that would be everyone, surely? He has Sparkle Powers! :)

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#24 Post by perch » Tue Apr 10, 2012 4:30 pm

*high fives junsei7*

I mean you just want to unfurl a fan and flutter it in his honor right?

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#25 Post by Oki » Sun Apr 15, 2012 8:09 pm

Oh Gaston. Favorite is still Nazagi though..hehe.
I've been here so long even Hanako is sick of me

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#26 Post by aisza_1995 » Mon Apr 16, 2012 6:06 am

Does it mean Im all alone? I don't like his sparkling powers, nor I loke his look or the overall impression. His will be the last path I will choose I soon as I get my hands on the game.
The sparkling makes me think of that abomination of a vampire - ftfu!
Hanako, in your next game you shall (and by that I mean pretty pretty please ;3) create male characters that will hold the true heart of the worrior. Sparkling is not a thing for a worrior neither the puffy wierd hair.

Anyway xD Just wanted to say that since I'm also doing script writting, story writting etc. If you need some help I can do that. I'm also a manga translator so I'm usually good with dialogues (I mean my job is to make those sound awsome and not crap) for all kind of characters starting from the stereotypical ones (like an typical uke, a tsundere, best friend,,... blah blah blah, and so on) up to less obvious ones (like a logically thinking 'not crybabies' female lead characters... apparently those actually exist!)

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#27 Post by FantasyFan » Mon Apr 16, 2012 4:20 pm

I don't think he REALLY has sparkle powers, given that Hanako said it was a FAKE line when she revealed that one screenshot ages ago.

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#28 Post by biscuit » Sat Apr 21, 2012 11:50 pm

Just wanted to comment that I'll be looking forward to this when it comes out. It looks very different from the sort of games I'm used to playing, the art is gorgeous, and the brief descriptions of the characters (though I'm sure actual gameplay will reveal much more depth) seem interesting.

Also, count me as one of the Gaston fans. (At least, unless/until game events make me appreciate someone else more). He looks entertaining!

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#29 Post by elizaaa123 » Sun Apr 22, 2012 4:13 pm

Wow this looks great. And I love court intrigue! Can't wait :)
I love you once, I love you twice, I love you more than beans and rice.

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#30 Post by SilverHyena » Thu Apr 26, 2012 11:39 pm

*Fangirl squeal* OMG! I'm already super excited! It looks like it's gonna be AWESOME! :D :D :D