Grabiner Comeuppance?

Female protagonist, in the hall for adventurous girls.
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Blue Rose
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#31 Post by Blue Rose » Sat Jul 07, 2012 3:39 pm

Honestly, Grabiner would probably be my favorite path, except for this. And with this, it's my least favorite.

My character, Susan, was flawlessly behaved. No detention, ever. Passed every test, usually with the extra credit, if available, and usually creatively. She'd never treated Grabiner with anything but kindness and respect, as much as possible. She was a responsible, dependable servant of the student body. She'd tried to save his life, as misguided as that may be. If she wasn't a fifty-merit student at that point, she was close. She'd mastered both Grabiner's classes to the furthest extent a freshman can and well-studied to boot (smarts in the seventies). She offered her kindness and courage, and gave it in spades. She was everything Grabby could possibly ask of her.

And then when some rumors start flying around, he flips out, refuses to acknowledge anything she says, performs violence against her and terrifies her.

That was the point where I felt like my character was taken away from me.

1) Why does it have to happen at all? If you're that perfect all the way through, why is it so unacceptable for him to have at least enough respect for the girl to step back for one second and think, to consider that maybe she really doesn't know, that maybe this rumor coming out hurts her just as much as it does him. Why can't there be a step where you've garnered enough credibility with him that he doesn't, you know, perform a terrifying act of violence against her.

2) I had red magic and blue magic at 100. Heck, Susan ended up getting "dueling instructor" as her future profession, IIRC. I count five blue magic spells and three or four combination spells that I could've at least tried (personally, this seems a perfect time for Reflection). At Red 100, with Grabiner so mad he can't see straight, I could totally give him a psychic pop in the nose, even if it didn't accomplish anything. Actually, the one I really wanted to have Susan do is cast Crush on the wall behind her to make an escape route. If there are people in the next room (or outside, depending on which wall she's pressed up against), they see Grabiner for what he is. If not, they come running when they hear a friggin' wall collapse, then see Grabiner standing over a battered, terrified young girl lying in a pile of rubble.

Of course, neither of these work as suggestions. I know they change too much.

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#32 Post by hanako » Sat Jul 07, 2012 6:05 pm

... battered?

I do have to protest here. He scares the life out of her, intentionally, and it's a very wrong thing to do. But he is not beating her! She is levitated up against the wall. That's it. If she did knock down a wall, then she would be hanging in mid-air.

I'm trying not to argue with people's interpretations for obvious reasons, but seriously, there's a lot less violence in that scene than some people see. It's designed to be terrifying, to make the PC *think* she's in danger of great violence and be too scared to react.

Why does it happen at all? To demonstrate the flaws in his character. Of course he should have given your Sue more credit! He was completely wrong.

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Blue Rose
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#33 Post by Blue Rose » Sat Jul 07, 2012 6:50 pm

The "battered" in that scenario comes from intentionally blasting yourself through a wall, not Grabiner's spell. Though I thought it was more like an invisible hand pinning you to the wall, so'st if the wall were removed, physics'd take over. (Because mages are so knowledgeable and respectful of physics. Red magic can totally turn a lump of coal into a diamond! Heat and pressure, dangit!) Apparently, different spell.

But thing is, dragging the main character off and yelling at her and blaming her for the whole mess is expressing character flaws. This... is closer to, "You have failed to meet minimum qualifications as a decent human being. Please remove yourself from your life immediately and permanently. Thank you, and have a nice day."

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